


I Wanna Be With You

by fxlthygorgeous



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-04 17:58:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15152582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxlthygorgeous/pseuds/fxlthygorgeous
Summary: Taeil and Johnny were college kids in love with each other until one of them has to part. Bitterness sets in. Questions were left unanswered. Years later, they meet again for a totally different reason. Would they allow the bitter feelings to fade and pick up the broken pieces?





	I Wanna Be With You

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! It is my very first time posting my own work on this site after being a member for almost a year now which I was just silently being a reader to the NCT or Johnil fics. I made a personal goal to hopefully someday post my work on this site which holds so many great writers for the NCT fandom and it finally happened! 
> 
> Also, please listen to Mandy Moore's I Wanna Be With You if you can while reading this fic because I wrote it based on this song. It really helps set the mood, especially later on in the story. 
> 
> This fic is for my precious supportive friends: Rae, Fea, Jia, Hannah & Zai :)  
> And the Johnil appreciators!

Friday finally rolled around. The day he dreaded to arrive. And most importantly, meeting the most dreaded person _in person._  
Johnny stared at the text that came from the art director since a week ago. He tried his best to reject the project offer but there wasn’t even an option to reject because they needed him. He wasn’t allowed to reject. Not this time at least. Deep down inside, he knew he shouldn’t be this unprofessional because he was one of the top photographers around. Pleasant demeanour, quality work and his name was pretty much going around.  
Why was he even acting this way now?  
With a heavy sigh, Johnny picked up his black backpack and headed out of his apartment.  
  
“Lighting a little brighter please. Thank you.” Johnny instructed the staff and watched the set turn brighter, looking better than before. The team was busy shuffling about with props and the outfits, in preparation for today’s photoshoot.  
“Johnny, is everything okay?” Seulgi, an intern who had been working with the magazine and the closest friend he had got to make, asked out of concern as she came to his side.  
“Yes! Yes. Everything is good.” He straightened up with a rather awkward smile. Yes, he lied. He probably didn’t realised how his brows were furrowed from worry than concentration. Shit, he was letting it get to him. _Stay professional, John. Stay fucking professional-_  
“Good morning, Mr Moon!” Seulgi gave a full bow as she greeted the model with a megawatt smile, earning one back from the man himself.  
He was donned in a simple white t-shirt and jeans, hair not yet styled as it framed his face and Johnny realised how breathtaking Mr Moon had always looked without all the styling and makeup when he sneaked a quick glance. Everyone on the team were greeting and introducing themselves and while Johnny was all in deep in thought which left him standing in his spot, away from everyone else.  
“And that’s our top photographer over there.” Seulgi cooed as everyone now stared over at the 6”1 man who seemed like his soul has left his body.  
“Mr Suh! Come introduce yourself!” She gestured for him to come over with a huge smile.  
_Fucking hell. Why Moon Taeil? Why him out of everyone else? And do I have to shake his hand now? I have to fucking hold his hand, don’t I-_  
“Hello, Mr Moon. I’m Jo-”  
“Johnny.”  
“Ah. Yes. You remembered.”  
“ _Why_ wouldn’t I?”  
He had Taeil’s smooth and small hand in his large one, warm skin against his own. And he felt a surge of electricity zap through him. His whole body, mind and soul.  
_So he remembered._  
  
_“How old are you again?”_  
_“I don’t know. Maybe I’m 19. Why?”_  
_“Cute. I thought you were older than I am. No offence.”_  
_“You can’t just say that and expect me not to be offended.” He joked, threading his slender fingers through his long hair, a cat like smile forming on his face._  
_“I’m sorry. And I think you’re super cute.” Taeil had a silly grin of his own, fingers slowly finding their way over to the other’s. This was how their jokes were like, teasing each other (usually initiated by Taeil) and Johnny pulling the smaller into his arms for an embrace. They were so in love, you could tell when you looked into their eyes. Until they were forced to be apart._  
  
Taeil looked good. He always did. He looked even better now in fact. He was always so so perfect. Taeil was his entity of perfection that he adored.  
Their encounter went smoothly, thankfully because he couldn’t risk the sudden unprofessionalism. He was now making final checks with his camera before Taeil would appear on set.  
  
Taeil sat on the stool, brown eyes staring back at himself in the reflection of the mirror as he got lost in thought. He never expected Johnny to be the one working with him today. It had been 6 years. A very long time. Way too long and he could feel his heart thumping against his chest as the makeup artist picked up the setting spray.  
God, how he missed Johnny. Those arms wrapped around him. That beautiful brown eyes and smile of his. He missed him, too much.  
  
“Taeil, Mr Moon, I need you to stand a little more to the right. Yes, that’s it.” Maybe things weren’t that bad after all. Johnny began focusing on his task as Taeil began posing, gaze soft yet sexy as they stared right in the lens of the camera. Johnny doing his best to concentrate and not think about pressing his lips on a certain someone’s. With all their thoughts put away, with much effort, their photoshoot was going well. Sounds of the camera clicking one after another. It was when Taeil had gone off to change into his next outfit that Johnny could finally relax. He squeezed at his shoulder, massaging it gently during the small break. Seulgi came by with a cup of coffee and he couldn’t thank her enough. Coffee could make him feel better, at least for now.  
Taeil had finally re-appeared from the changing room and now donned a tight black t-shirt and ripped jeans which bared his skin and Johnny wondered if they were still as smooth. Probably is.  
Just when he thought things were getting on well and were under control, Taeil had to step out in an outfit that made him look so captivating and it was killing Johnny inside. And he hadn’t noticed that undercut until... right now.  
_Oh god, I can’t do this. I can’t._  
“I can’t do this.” He uttered out loud which made the staff around him stare at him in confusion. Great job. He tried his hardest to keep things under control but he obviously wasn’t working as hard as he thought.  
“I mean I can’t do this awesome thing that the models do. I’ve been observing Tae- Mr Moon. I’m clumsy and awkward, I mean this is why I’m a photographer and not a model. I mean look at him, look how amazing he is!” Everyone around him were grinning from ear to ear, cheering and clapping their hands; leaving Taeil the only one with pursed lips and furrowed brows. How very strange. Despite the sudden minor slip up, both of them made sure they wouldn’t allow personal feelings to get involved during work and they sure did their best as the shoot continued on.  
  
“Thank you for today. We had such a pleasant time working with you.” Irene, the art director of Homme, strutted by with a bow as she had a proud smile on her face. Proud for finally being able to have _the_ Moon Taeil appear on their magazine.  
“Took you guys a while huh?” Taeil quirked a brow, a corner of his lips tugging upwards into a playful smirk, indicating a light tease.  
“It is an honour to be on the front cover of Homme. I had my eye on you guys for a long time now. Really thankful.” He pressed both of his palms together as he expressed his gratitude. So things had finally ended. Five hours of working with Homme was over. Five hours of seeing and working with Johnny has ended. Did he feel sad? Achey? Disappointed? Should he make a move and chase the love of his life again? Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of the tall man packing up his things and definitely did not bother sparing a glance at the elder at all before long legs took their strides out of the studio.   
  
❋❋❋  
  
“Take the wheel.” Taeil gestured towards the car, tossing the keys over to his manager who shot him a look.  
“My my. Someone’s in a pissy mood.” Alex remarked teasingly, earning a light scowl from the model. He was in no mood to drive. He needed to take all the time to stare out of the window and think about Johnny.   
  
_“So you picked me to be tutored, intentionally?” Johnny’s eyes grew wide as he quickly shifted them to his opened books that cluttered the desk, gaze now softening even though he was still in shock at the other’s sudden confession. This afternoon was another one of their usual study sessions because Johnny sucked at Math. And thankfully for Taeil, who was a really popular senior and who was an ace in that subject had offered to tutor him. Four months had passed and it was safe to say that Johnny was actually improving since he hadn’t failed his last two tests._  
_"Yes. I signed up to be your tutor. Because I wanted to get close to you.” Taeil boldly admitted, adding some more for the other to hear. “I watched you play volleyball for the first time, four months ago. When you were up against the team from Daegu High. I was just drawn to you. I had no explanation.” It was true. Taeil had found himself falling for the younger and how his glasses sat on his nose bridge, making him look so studious. He played for the school’s volleyball team and Taeil was in the school’s music club. And somehow they shared the same love for Coldplay, walks on the beach and burgers._  
_“I like you, Johnny.” And there. On Johnny’s lips were Taeil’s own, pressed against them gently._  
  
“Would you return to an ex boyfriend? Ever?”  
Seulgi widened her eyes and shook her head hard, making her blunt bangs sway along. She pulled the straw away from her pursed lips and set her glass of orange juice down before she spoke. “I think that depends. If he was an absolute jerk and if I know how the story would all turn out again, I wouldn’t go back of course.” She flashed a quick smile before her expression turned serious. “Why?”  
“Nothing. I was just thinking.” Johnny lied and went back to staring at his glass of almost empty root beer.  
“You know you’re such a bad liar, John. Now fess’ up.”  
  
_He could hear his heart beating against his chest loudly as he waited by the door, waiting for his boyfriend to come through. Would Taeil like the gift? Of course he would, wouldn’t he? Taeil had a thing for accessories and Johnny felt like this was the perfect item for him. When he finally heard the doorknob turning, he quickly stood up, greeting the other with a huge smile and a “Happy 10 Months to us!” only to find Taeil in tears._  
_“I’m so so sorry, baby.” He forced those most dreaded words out of his own mouth as he tried not to choke on his own tears. He could feel Johnny going limp in his embrace. “I’m so so sorry.” Farewells were never easy. If he had a chance, he would never want to part with the other. Moving away to a foreign country was hard but nothing he couldn’t adapt to, nothing could be as hard as being apart from the man he loved._  
  
By the time Johnny had shared about his past with Taeil, he was already in tears as Seulgi quickly wrapped her arms around him.  
  
❋❋❋  
  
He never thought he would be sitting here uploading photos of Taeil in his computer again. Although for a completely different reason. The green bar moved bit by bit, slowly filling up the grey space and Johnny felt his heart beating faster and faster. Looking at Taeil again, even through pictures, working with them would stir something back in his heart. Johnny knew it for sure. Would he be strong in fighting against it? He would, wouldn’t he? With a soft sigh, Johnny began to move the cursor towards the first thumbnail and double clicked on it to have it come to full view in the screen of his computer. Taeil was breathtaking. He didn’t need any touching up, any fixing. Johnny was close to not bothering to work on the shots and just submit them right away to the editor and art director. It took him another few more seconds to gather himself before he began working on whatever he was instructed to according to the magazine’s criteria and falling for the man before his eyes with every click again.  
  
A large hand came over a leather clad butt cheek which earned a hard slap from Taeil as he spun around, glaring at the man who was obviously wasted and horny. _Disgusting_ , he spat out and shoved the other in the chest causing him to stumble.  
“Don’t you want to have a piece of me? Because I sure as hell want a piece of one of Dazed’s Top 20 Hottest Men of the Year.” The stranger laughed out loud, attempting to take another step closer to the glaring Taeil. “Fuck off. Fuck off right now or I’ll be sure you get reported for sexual harrassment, you piece of shit.”  
“Leave him alone.” came a voice from behind Taeil. The elder didn’t need to turn around to know who that was exactly. He was as equally shocked as the creep who was starting to retreat, shrugging his shoulders with his hands raised. "Sheesh. I just wanted a piece of that ass."  
The elder rolled his eyes and quickly turned around to thank the other but before he could even finish, Johnny was already walking away.  
“Johnny!” Taeil called out, quickly jogging, trying to catch up with the other. “Please don’t walk away from me. Please?”  
Johnny suddenly halted in his tracks, breeze blowing his brown locks as he stood there without turning. “Can’t I walk away from you like you did to me before?”  
Taeil had caught up to him and was now standing next to him as he stared up at the man he loved. And still do. “I could never forgive myself or my parents for that. I had no choice, Johnny, you know that. I had to move. I never knew what my parents’ intentions were until I was in the UK. When I found out, I slowly started saving up for my next flight out back to Seoul.”  
“And you came back?”  
“Yes I did. But you weren’t there anymore. In your old house. They said you moved to Chicago. I couldn’t get a hold of you. It drove me crazy. It drove me crazy to think that you might have moved on. That you probably deserved someone much better. Someone who was strong enough to stay, someone whose parents weren’t against their own son’s relationship and someone whose parents wouldn’t hurt their son’s boyfriend with all the stupid nasty words. I could never forgive my parents for doing that to you ever. I love you Johnny. I always do.” Taeil was starting to tremble, his eyes were welling up and it broke him more when the other hadn’t said a word and began walking again.  
  
❋❋❋  
  
**To:** irenebae@hommemag.com  
**From:** johnsuh@hommemag.com  
**Title:** August issue submission - Moon Taeil  
**+** View attachments  
  
He hit the send button and then leaned back in his swivel chair, quickly removing his glasses and set them aside before shutting his eyes.  
  
_“What do you like about me?” Johnny shot Taeil a glance as his hand caressed the other’s waist. A soft hum came from the elder as he snuggled a little closer._  
_“You mean what I love about you? I love your smile, I love how you’re so attentive towards me, how you always make me feel protected, safe and secure. Oh baby, I love you for all of you.”_  
  
Why didn't he stayed for Taeil? Would things be better if he hadn't left for Chicago? Why did he think that Taeil wouldn't ever returned for him?  
Why did he give up so easily? Why didn't he have more faith in Taeil? Had more faith in them?  
Was he so scared of being hurt again? What if Taeil came back to him and then left him again?   
  
_I couldn’t get a hold of you. It drove me crazy. It drove me crazy to think that you might have moved on. That you probably deserved someone much better._  
He sucked in his breath.  
_I love you Johnny. I always do._  
  
Quickly straightening up, Johnny reached out for his glasses and began typing away on his computer.  
Contact Alex Kim. Contact Alex Kim. Goddamn Alex Kim.  
Why couldn’t he get a hold of Taeil? Why was it so hard to get to him? Why did he have to contact some PR staff or a manager and some other irrelevant people to talk to his boyfriend? Why didn’t he speak to Taeil when he had the chance? They met twice and he couldn’t man up and face the guy? Talk about being stupid. He groaned out loud and rubbed at his temples. How would he find Taeil again?  
  
 【 **TEXT** **13:03** 】  
Seulgi, do you know how I could talk to Taeil? I did something stupid, twice. I just need to find a way to talk to him again.  
  
 【 **TEXT 13:08** 】  
I don’t know about contacting him personally. But I do have an idea of showing up to the event that he would be attending tonight. You game? ^_^  
  
 【 **TEXT 13:10** 】  
I’m all set to fucking win this game.  
  
“You ready?” Alex glanced over at Taeil with a smile, earning back one from the male as he nodded his head. “Remember to mention about your upcoming releases. Talk about your new endorsement with Skechers and your work with Homme which would probably be published in August. Tease the press, tease the fans.” Taeil nodded his head and glanced outside of the window. The black car pulled up at the venue and Taeil prepared himself for the red carpet arrival, listening to words of encouragement from Alex before stepping out.  
“Do you see him? Do you see him yet?” Seulgi stood on her tippy toes.  
“Not yet.” Johnny replied. Thankfully for these kinds of things, his height was definitely a great advantage. His brown eyes darted here and there for any signs of the smaller man. The man that he kept running away from, but that would all end tonight because he would be running into Taeil’s arms instead. The host smoothened the crease of her red cocktail dress before announcing into the mic at the upcoming arrivals. You could hear the fans beginning to scream and cheer on for the famous figures and it only made Johnny and Seulgi more nervous.  
“Up and rising actor, Jung Jaehyun, everybody!” The cheers got louder as the very charming man took his place on the red carpet for pictures and a short interview. Seulgi was getting starstrucked at the actor in full view after managing to squeeze through the crowd and found a place right in front of Johnny and behind the barricade. Seulgi joined in on the cheers for Jung Jaehyun who soon gave the crowd and press one last bow before heading in. Johnny took a deep breath as he waited for the name which he no longer dreaded to hear. “She’s young, cute, gorgeous and most of all such a talent on the screens! The joy of her fans, Park Sooyoung!” At the corner of his eye, he spotted Taeil stepping out from the black car, thankfully without a date, looking dashing in a black suit and a very formal hairstyle that the one he was usually spotted with. He quickly tapped on Seulgi’s shoulder and shouted over the cheers, “He’s next! He’s next!” “Oh my god! Oh my god!” She began to panic and quickly prepared herself and the board she had in her hand as so did Johnny.  
“Known for his charismatic gaze and sweetest smile. Made it on the list of Dazed’s Top 20 Hottest Men, the model of our generation. Moon Taeil!” As if on cue, Johnny and Seulgi held up their boards and watched Taeil with hopeful eyes as the model took his place on the red carpet, smiling brightly at the crowd and cameras. A wave here and a wave there, greeting everyone until he squinted his eyes, getting distracted by two certain boards being held up. Definitely very different than the rest.  
“So Mr Moon, what a hottie. How do you feel about tonight’s event?”  
  
**JOHNNY IS RIGHT HERE**  
And the other one being held a little lower.  
**I NEED YOU, TAEIL**  
  
_Oh god. What the hell? Johnny?!_  
  
The host shoved the mic towards Taeil’s mouth, nudging him to speak. “Uh… I.. I feel surprised. I never expect to see my fans in the crowd tonight. They don’t usually show up to big events like these but here they are tonight to give me the support. I’m surprised but I’m really thankful. Happy. I know that the rest of the evening would be definitely greater.” He was starting to get nervous, something that he rarely felt after being in the spotlight for a few years now. The host flashed a megawatt smile again and shot another question before shoving the mic back to Taeil again. He stared up ahead at the tall figure among the crowd behind the barricade and answered confidently. “I’m definitely single. Very single.” His response earned a louder cheer from the crowd before he playfully winked at a camera, the one in Johnny’s direction. Seulgi too, was screaming for an entirely different reason. “Did you see that?! Did you see that?!” Johnny nodded his head with a huge smile. “Yes I did. He definitely saw our signs and us.” Taeil stood there to allow the press to take some more shots of him before he took a last bow and began to walk into the building where the event would take place. His fans were sad that he had finally left but felt grateful to be able to catch a glimpse of him at least. “Here! Take this!” Seulgi handed a pass to her friend, the pass that she had somehow managed to snag just so Johnny could be at the event and hopefully get a chance to talk to Taeil and win him back. “How did you even get this?” He asked with wide eyes before Seulgi made him dip his head and slipped the lanyard around his neck, making the pass hang. “Magic! Now go get in there! You’ll be a winner tonight!” She raised her fist and cheered him on, earning a huge smile from Johnny and a tight hug. “I owe you.” He said to her.  
Leaving his friend, the male now made his way out from the crowd and over to the entrance where many higher ups and famous faces were entering. It made him nervous but he’s worked with famous faces. There was nothing to feel nervous about right?  
_I’m going to see Taeil again. I’m going to speak to him again-_ Johnny huddled along the manager of an idol before the security in black stopped him. “Are you authorised to enter the event?”  
“Very much so. I’m a photographer, if you haven’t noticed.” He didn’t mean to sound too stern but he was and he had to, because he needed to get in there and look for the love of his life.  
“You may enter.” Johnny took big strides past the entrance and glanced at the hall full of people. Should he just shout out Taeil’s name so it was easier to get his attention at least? _Ha. Ha. No way._ But where was he? Taeil was nowhere in sight and this only made Johnny start to wander around, trying his hardest not to look too suspicious or awkward.  
  
Was Johnny still out there? Did he really want to meet him? The past few encounters were tense and Taeil wasn’t sure what was even happening anymore. He was confused. If only Johnny wanted to clear things up like he did, instead of just running away. But he couldn’t blame him since heartbreaks were always not easy to get over. There were probably a lot of bitterness and unanswered questions. Taeil never blamed Johnny for being this way towards him. The model sat by the fountain, lit up with fairy lights which made the garden looked way enchanting, something he truly enjoyed at times like these. He needed to be alone for now. Alone with his thoughts. The hall was suffocating. Thankfully, no one had noticed the model disappearing for a while and so he made sure to embrace every precious second.  
  
“Taeil.” He heard his name being called, in a slightly shaky breath, and made him quickly turn to see the owner of the voice and there he was standing right before him. It was Johnny. He seemed rather out of breath but there was a smile on his face. The sweetest smile Taeil had always gotten weak for.  
“Johnny… How did you-”  
“I’ll explain later. I just need to talk to you now. I just want to say that I’m sorry for being such a jerk the past few times we’ve met. During work and the other night. I know you’re back in Seoul for a short while and it would be stupid of me to just treat you this way when you’re going off again. We haven’t met in.. years but you never left my heart and mind. Heck, Taeil, I think about you every single day ever since you left. I grew bitter. I was furious. Sad. My heart ached and longed for you. I kept asking why me? Why was it me who had to lose the person I loved? Why did I have to run away when I could have chased you instead? I love you. I love you so much--” and so his rambling was instantly halted when Taeil pressed his soft lips on the taller’s own, his arms finding its way around Taeil pulling him closer. Feeling how perfectly they fitted with one another. Despite their height differences, they melted into each others’ embraces in the most perfect way. The most familiar feeling shared again after such a long time.  
“Oh Johnny… I love you and I always do.”  
  
❋❋❋  
  
**5 Months Later**  
  
“Why the hell do I look so weird in here?” Taeil pointed to the screen of Johnny’s laptop, a paparazzi shot of them was on the front page of the gossip website. It was no secret since their relationship was publically announced, it wasn’t like it would tarnish their careers in any way. Taeil and Johnny, and every other famous figure had the right to love and to be happy. So they didn’t mind it one bit at all, they weren’t always hounded although sometimes things could get a little annoying.  
“I think you look cute.” Johnny chimed in from behind, peering over the elder’s shoulder before pressing a soft peck on his cheek. It was the shot of them leaving the cafe on Saturday morning after breakfast, Taeil smiling and Johnny by his side, smiling even wider.  
“And can you come back to bed, please?”  
“In a second!” Taeil called out, quickly snapping a sneaky candid shot of a shirtless Johnny with his camera. Chuckling to himself, he set the camera down and ran over to the big comfy bed of their home in LA while his boyfriend’s arms were spread wide to catch him in a hug.  
“Moon Taeil, I want to cherish every moment of you. Capture your beauty with the lens of my camera and most importantly, my eyes. You’re never leaving my side again.”


End file.
